Archive for the world takeover Category

BDC hearts GAYZ on BSG

Posted in BSG, DZ drama, nerd alert, Toran, world takeover on February 24, 2010 by browndowncrown

The only thing nerdier than loving Battlestar Galactica is discovering it a year after the four season stint has ended. Maybe its just us here at the BDC world headquarters, but we thought it was kind of a known scientific fact that in the future the world is going to be ALL BROWN (jealous?) but I guess its ok to throw some whiny white folks for some diversity on TV. But as FEMINISTS,HOMOSEXUALS and PUNKS, BDC was left wondering — when the Cylons nuked the planets — where did THEY all go? There may be some spoilers for those hardcore fans but in the end if you were that hardcore you probably already watched the entire series three times and these tiny bits of information don’t really give away any major plotlines. With that warning — read at yr own risk my BDC BSG fans…

Our first answer came in the form of a TV movie called Razor that gives us a glimpse into the Battlestar Pegasus and reveals that Commander Helena Cain was actually a POWER HUNGRY LESBIAN who was doing it with a CYLON (Ilene Chaiken eat yr L Word heart out with that storyline). Sure she was a little crazy and basically freaked her frackin frack when she found out her lover was a robot but what modern day DZ hasn’t?

Although its not officially on the actual series but via the BSG’s webisode series, Face of the Enemy, we do find out that the hella sexy and hella brown Lt. Felix Gaeta (pronounced GAYta) is a big ole pervy queer who likes it both up the butt and with robots. The entire webisode series gives us a deeper glimpse through flashbacks into his life on New Caprica (and him falling for a Cylon) as his lover set out on a quest to save Gaeta who is on a ship that did not make a jump with the rest of the fleet.

The lack of queerness on the show, according to executive producer and writer David Eick (via this pretty horribly written article that assumes all gays need is a shirtless jock to watch a tv show) is mostly due to the fact that they are too busy fighting Cylons to worry about giving each other bjs.

And that leave us with Caprica — the newest spin off from the BSG series that takes place 58 years BEFORE the Cylon attacks and stars a wide eyed 13yo Bill Adama before he ever thought he would be trying to find Earth for a living. This show which is attempting to gain a larger audience than BSG (i.e. – ladies, teens, queers, freaks, goths?) is jam packed with the most important elements of any tv show – gayz, cults, teen angst, polygamy, ritualistic murders and Eric Stoltz. We find out that young Bill Adama’s bad ass uncle, Sam Adama, is married to some dude named Larry and in between being HOT and COVERED IN TATTOOS he is killing people and blowing up buildings. Is this the Dynasty of the future? I don’t know but someone over at SYFY channel realized all the gays really want is a shirtless inked up homosexual gang member to tune in. He’s also from the BROWN PLANET – TORAN – which we’re not sure if you have to actually be brown or just have a good tan… but in any case they do brown things like eat meat, play with bones and get discriminated against. Check out what all those tattoos mean here and we’ll keep you updated on any juicy gay gossip that emerges from BSG and Caprica.

Jenna Riot – BDC & the TGD

Posted in Jenna Riot, TGD, Tyra Banks, world takeover on January 9, 2010 by browndowncrown

Jenna Riot is now the new face of Faith21! With your help (and hella tween voters), she was hand picked by Mia Tyler for Forever 21’s new plus size line. Forever21 (or as some folks refer to it, Forever31) is hella religious which means the fact that they picked a brown queer femme fatty to represent their new line is one step closer to BDC’s TGD – TOTAL GLOBAL DOMINATION. If we can slip past the Christians, we can do anything! She is flying down to LA for a shopping spree and photo shoot — may we suggest Jenna Riot in a sexy outfit as a DOUBLE DOUBLE ANIMAL STYLE – chowing down on some In N Out and covered in their secret sauce between two extra large man patties? Regardless — Faith21’s current model, Whitney Thompson, is the first plus size model to win America’s Next Top Model and has been quoted as saying, “people should look like she does rather than skin-and-bones, which is disgusting and sends a bad message to people everywhere.” We couldn’t agree more! We just hope Whitney introduces Jenna to BDC Superstar TYRA BANKS so she can make a special guest appearance on BDCTV in a fat suit so we can really give her something to cry about! Congrats Jenna — now that you are the chosen one its time to show the world what BDC is all about! Click here to check out the other winners and what Mia Tyler had to say about them all.

Text a tween to vote for Jenna Riot!

Posted in BrownDownCrownTV, Jenna Riot, MTV, on demand, tween, world takeover on November 24, 2009 by browndowncrown

Jenna Riot helps BrownDownCrown takeover the World

Sometimes you read this blog and you see me write about how BrownDownCrown will be a household name and how we’re infiltrating your TVs thru on demand propaganda or interviews with MTV gayz and how this is all a part of our grand scheme of ultimate world takeover and you may think to yourself, I dont know about these BDC kids they just seem crazy they can’t take over the world.

Well, yes we can. Never underestimate the power of hungry brown people with fame and glory being dangled in front of them like a deep fried american cheese taco wrapped in bacon served with a side of sour cream.

BDCTV’s sexy co-host Jenna Riot has decided to use her world takeover talents to infiltrate the fashion industry! What better way to do that but to become Forever 21’s poster girl. Once they accept her as their own she will preach to them the values of BrownDownCrown and our household name recognition will soon become a reality.

Ms. Riot is now one of the finalists in the Faith 21 (F21’s plus size line) ‘Most Stylish Gal Search‘. Not only will she win $500 (which is a lot of Popeyes!) but she will be flown out to LA for a photoshoot and meet the foxxxy Mia Tyler (daughter of lead singer of Aerosmith). BrownDownCrown and rockstar go hand in hand so you see – this plan is almost foolproof.

BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP! VOTE FOR JENNA RIOT EVERY DAY ON THE FOREVER 21 WEBSITE TO ENSURE SHE WINS SO BROWNDOWNCROWN CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

click here to vote — you have to register yr email address — you get one vote every day until December 7th. Tell your friends. Yr frenemies. And the tweens — whatever u do make sure you text a tween to vote for Jenna Riot.

Crystal Candy Dreamz: Jenna Riot Music Video!

Posted in bikini gayz, Courtney Trouble, Jenna Riot, rae threat, world takeover on August 8, 2009 by browndowncrown

BrownDownCrown loves kiddie pools, bikini gays, astroturf and strobe light basement dancing. Check out Rae Threat’s photoblog for a great behind the scenes photo. The video was directed by Courtney Trouble and filmed on location at the Oven.

BrownDownCrown does Cable TV

Posted in BrownDownCrown, on demand, world takeover on July 14, 2009 by browndowncrown

As part of our ever extending empire BrownDownCrown decided that we needed to get on cable TV. The best way we knew how was to get ‘On Demand’ — and the only way we knew how to do that was to create a personal ad. Check out this video to watch our personal ad and see how you can watch Devon Devine on your TV at home! BrownDownCrown — taking over living rooms one home at a time…