BDC hearts GAYZ on BSG

The only thing nerdier than loving Battlestar Galactica is discovering it a year after the four season stint has ended. Maybe its just us here at the BDC world headquarters, but we thought it was kind of a known scientific fact that in the future the world is going to be ALL BROWN (jealous?) but I guess its ok to throw some whiny white folks for some diversity on TV. But as FEMINISTS,HOMOSEXUALS and PUNKS, BDC was left wondering — when the Cylons nuked the planets — where did THEY all go? There may be some spoilers for those hardcore fans but in the end if you were that hardcore you probably already watched the entire series three times and these tiny bits of information don’t really give away any major plotlines. With that warning — read at yr own risk my BDC BSG fans…

Our first answer came in the form of a TV movie called Razor that gives us a glimpse into the Battlestar Pegasus and reveals that Commander Helena Cain was actually a POWER HUNGRY LESBIAN who was doing it with a CYLON (Ilene Chaiken eat yr L Word heart out with that storyline). Sure she was a little crazy and basically freaked her frackin frack when she found out her lover was a robot but what modern day DZ hasn’t?

Although its not officially on the actual series but via the BSG’s webisode series, Face of the Enemy, we do find out that the hella sexy and hella brown Lt. Felix Gaeta (pronounced GAYta) is a big ole pervy queer who likes it both up the butt and with robots. The entire webisode series gives us a deeper glimpse through flashbacks into his life on New Caprica (and him falling for a Cylon) as his lover set out on a quest to save Gaeta who is on a ship that did not make a jump with the rest of the fleet.

The lack of queerness on the show, according to executive producer and writer David Eick (via this pretty horribly written article that assumes all gays need is a shirtless jock to watch a tv show) is mostly due to the fact that they are too busy fighting Cylons to worry about giving each other bjs.

And that leave us with Caprica — the newest spin off from the BSG series that takes place 58 years BEFORE the Cylon attacks and stars a wide eyed 13yo Bill Adama before he ever thought he would be trying to find Earth for a living. This show which is attempting to gain a larger audience than BSG (i.e. – ladies, teens, queers, freaks, goths?) is jam packed with the most important elements of any tv show – gayz, cults, teen angst, polygamy, ritualistic murders and Eric Stoltz. We find out that young Bill Adama’s bad ass uncle, Sam Adama, is married to some dude named Larry and in between being HOT and COVERED IN TATTOOS he is killing people and blowing up buildings. Is this the Dynasty of the future? I don’t know but someone over at SYFY channel realized all the gays really want is a shirtless inked up homosexual gang member to tune in. He’s also from the BROWN PLANET – TORAN – which we’re not sure if you have to actually be brown or just have a good tan… but in any case they do brown things like eat meat, play with bones and get discriminated against. Check out what all those tattoos mean here and we’ll keep you updated on any juicy gay gossip that emerges from BSG and Caprica.


One Response to “BDC hearts GAYZ on BSG”

  1. yeah granted they were pretty busy trying to survive apocalypse but that didn’t stop starbuck from screwing around or apollo pining for starbuck or gaius and his harem and so on. just no time for sodomy, cuz that’s really distracting.

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